It's getting closer!!

The countdown continues!  19 days- just 3 week from today I'll be in the operating room.  Here's the official countdown:  The final countdown

I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday and got more of an idea of surgery schedules.  It looks like surgery #2 will be anywhere from 3-4 months after my first surgery. Then the 3rd surgery will be anytime after 3 months, depending on when I want to do it (I'm thinking next spring).

I've read that I can never be declared "cured!" or even in remission (doesn't that imply that it'll eventually come back?  at least it does to me) but I've learned a new acronym to embrace.  NED.  NED= no evidence of disease.  My goal is to stay in the NED category for the rest of my life!

Once I found out that my cancer was contained to the breast and I knew the road of treatments ahead, I thought, "okay, this will be a tough year in my life, but soon it'll just be a blip in my lifetime, another obstacle cleared."  but the closer "the end" gets, the more I realize that it won't be just something that happened to me, but will affect the rest of my life.  Breast Cancer will always be there, lurking in the dark- every bone ache or random bump/lump etc is going to make me worry, "is it back?" But I'll try not to let it be anything but a niggling thought in the back of my mind.

I've learned a lot throughout this journey.  I know I've talked about it before, but with all the recent tragedies involving children and the judgement that has come from those on social media, I realized how much my cancer treatment has changed my way of thinking.  I hate to admit that once I would have asked, "why wasn't that parent watching the child?" as if I could be the world's most perfect parent (this thought coming mostly before I actually had kids, because let's be honest, we all thought we'd be the best parents before we actually had kids).  Motherhood definitely changed my thoughts on these situations (goodness knows I've lost track of one of my kids more than once) but Cancer has changed it further.  I no longer judge others, or if I begin to, I remind myself that unless I've walked in their shoes, I have no idea what's going on in their life.  It's not our place to judge and instead of judging others, we need to help them.  There have been so many times that I've been halfway through the grocery store when my 2 toddlers acting a fool- crying or running away from me or just being ridiculously silly and not listening.  Instead of the dirty looks, it sure would be nice for someone to offer, "hey, I'll watch your cart while you chase after those little ones!" Let's get back to the village we once used to be- let's help each other instead of breaking each other down with judgement and ridicule.  Do something nice today!