Shout it from the rooftops- I'm done with AC!

Phew, I'm halfway through chemo and completely done with AC.  I'm so glad to never have that poison put in my body again!  If I had the energy, I'd shout it from the rooftops.  But this chemo hit me pretty hard so no rooftops for me.  I was nauseated before we even started, so I was given an extra type of anti-nausea that totally knocked me out but didn't even seem to help with the nausea though, figures.  I won't say this was as bad as my first chemo, but definitely was a pretty difficult one.  I really hope the Taxol has less side effects like everyone says it does.  I don't know if I can endure 2 more months of these side effects- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

My schedule is a bit different than we'd originally thought, instead of having 3 weeks off between types of chemos, I only have 2 weeks in between, so basically just following the same schedule.  I was kind of hoping for a little more time off, but then again, I'm ready to just get this over with. So my new last day of chemo will be May 24th, instead of the 31st.  We're still hoping to schedule surgery after the 4th of July.

I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband.  He's been so supportive, taking care of the kids when I can't, making them meals and doing laundry.  Yesterday I mentioned that I could really use a fan for my room because I get so sweaty when I sleep (hot flashes are no joke, people!).  He & Emeline ran to Wegman's but also came back with a couple of fans they picked up at Bed, Bath & Beyond.  Man, did that help last night!  I can never thank Ray enough for all that he's done to help me get through this.

Post Chemo 3 checkup & perspective

I went in and met a new NP today for my follow up appointment.  She was very nice and said that I'm looking great on paper- my blood counts are recovering nicely.  We discussed my nausea and ways to combat it (I'm not drinking enough water).  I did complain to her about my weight gain (up another 2lbs this week!) but she reminded me that I'm almost done with the AC treatments and that Taxol isn't nearly as bad about the nausea.  Like everyone else, she reminded me to eat what/when I can and not worry about my weight gain.
I got home and chatted with a good friend (over the internets all the way from Amsterdam!) and she told me a story that really put things in perspective (although it wasn't her intention, it just happened to be exactly what I needed to hear).  Basically, it was about a woman dying of cancer & who'd been told that her time is very limited.  She was seeking advice on how to tell her small children (ages 4 & 6) that she'd soon be gone and ways that she could help the kids remember her.  And here I was worrying about being too fat.

So, yes, I realize that I'm being a bit butt-headed about the whole weight thing.  I'm fighting this disease, I will come out on the other end stronger and tougher, so what if a little fluffier?  So, from here on out, I'm going to try really hard not to worry so much about my weight gain (or complain about it).  In the whole scheme of things, it really doesn't matter, what really matters is still being here to enjoy my children & life.

And on to lighter things, I went yesterday to have my wig fitting.  I found one that I really like!  I don't plan on wearing it often, but am glad to have it, for special occasions.  I think it looks relatively natural and it's not nearly as itchy as I expected.

So, if I want to feel like a 'normal' person instead of a cancer patient, I'll have an option.  Just add this to the things I thought I'd never own...LOL

Chemo 3 down, just 1 more of this type to go!

I can't wait to move on from the Adria & Cytoxan.  I only have 1 more infusion of these 2 wonderful drugs and I'm so glad!

(this is my face during chemo)

The taxol isn't supposed to be as hard on me.  I'm imagining with just the fact that it's only 1 type of chemo instead of 2, it'll be a bit easier on me.  I asked my nurse Nikki yesterday if I'll still have to get the neulasta after the Taxol but she wasn't sure.  I'm not sure if I'm hoping I won't or not.  It does seem to help get my white blood cell counts up quickly, but dang does it hurt when the tube goes in and the bone ache is pretty crappy.  Ah, the joys of chemo!

This morning I took a little handful of pills, including my anti-nausea med & steroids.  I think it helped a little.  I'm going to try to take a Zofran before bed tonight to see if that helps me get ahead of the nausea.  I also need to remember to take the claratin because that really seemed to help with the bone ache the last time.

My hair is almost gone now, except for a random patch in the back that's really holding on.  I went and ran errands today without a hat on and I definitely got a few double takes.  I really don't like wearing a hat and it was so nice today, my bald head needed some air!  I even had a guy yell across a parking lot to me, "awesome!  We need more bald heads!"  yes, he was bald LOL  I spoke with a woman at a store and I swear she couldn't stop looking at my head.  I wanted to say, "hey, my eyes are down here!"  LOL  I figure it's not worth being uncomfortable and hot just for other people's comfort.  If I'm comfortable with my battle, others should be too!

I expect the shit to start hitting the fan tomorrow.  Luckily a very wonderful friend is picking the twins up in the morning and taking them to a park and having a picnic lunch.  They'll have a great time and I'll get a break.  Ray is off for the afternoon and then again on Friday.  Hopefully I'll be feeling better by Saturday because I'm supposed to help out at our semi-annual consignment sale.

3 down, 5 to go!!

Chemo 2 follow up

I saw PA Adam again today.  My labs looked decent (would you expect anything less from me?!) and although I really talked up the nausea, mean Adam wouldn't give me any more drugs. He just told me to take the steroids for an extra day after my next chemo and also take Zantac for the indigestion (did I mention how much this feels pregnancy without the cute little newborn at the end?). I keep meaning to ask him if I can smoke pot to help with the nausea but I'm afraid he'll say no, plus it's illegal and all.  A friend may or may not keep suggesting that pot is great for nausea.  I personally wouldn't know because I've never tried weed...it would probably make me suuuuper paranoid.  I'm just guessing, though. Seriously, no experience whatsoever.

I've been trying to come up with benefits to this cancer journey, so here's a few things that have popped up:
    * It takes me no time at all to take a shower. I'm like a man now- I can literally hop in the shower          & be done in 2 minutes flat.
    * I'm saving a ton of money on shampoo, conditioner & hair products.   That just means more             money for hats!
    * If I find a hair in my food, I know for a fact that it's not mine.
    * I don't have to shave my legs- saving more money on razors!
    * lots and lots of free drugs- sure, none of them are really anything anyone would want to take, but        I sure have my own pharmacy going on

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure they'll be lots to add to the list.  I'm only a quarter of the way through the chemo part of this journey so I'm sure some new stuff will come up!