Lightning strikes twice

When we found out in March of 2012 that we would be blessed with twins, I thought that would be the biggest shock I'd ever encounter.  But on Dec 23 at 10:30am, lightning struck again and we got even more shocking news than expecting twins.  Ray & I learned that at 39.5 years of age, I have breast cancer.
This was not my first experience finding a lump- I had my first mammogram & ultrasound guided biopsy done in Jan 2012 on a small lump that I found in my left breast.  Results came back as a benign tumor. So when I found a new lump in early Dec 2014, I went in to see the doctor (not my regular doctor) who assessed the new lump, said it was probably nothing but went ahead and put in a referral for an ultrasound.  The holidays got hectic & this mama put herself on the back burner and never made the appointment to have the lump checked out.  Fast forward to April 2015 when I weaned the twins.  The lump seemed to be getting a bit larger, but life with 5 kids is hectic and I kept forgetting to find time to get an appointment.  I'd even seen my new regular doctor a few times for other things but the lump always slipped my mind.  Finally I made an appointment for early Dec to get the u/s done at the radiology center.  The radiologist read my newest mammogram & u/s and suggested I have a biopsy done quickly.  My doctor put in a referral to the breast center at Howard County General and I had the u/s guided biopsy done on Wed, Dec 16.  I was told the results would be back within 48hours, but with the weekend I wouldn't get a call until Monday.  My regular doctor wanted me to see the breast specialist to receive and discuss results, but she was unable to see me until early Jan, so he said he'd call with the preliminary results when they came back.  I waited all day at home Monday to get a call from my doctor & heard nothing. When I inquired, he said the results were still pending.  I still hadn't heard anything by Tuesday at noon and emailed my doctor asking if he could follow up with the breast center if he didn't hear by the end of the day.  I'd tried to make a follow up appointment earlier but he didn't want to schedule anything until we knew when results would be in, plus he said it may not even require an office visit, but just a simple phone call.  When I got a call from a nurse asking me to come in the next morning at 10:30am, I knew it couldn't be good news.  I was able to get a last minute babysitter & Ray was able to come with me.  Thank God he was there to receive the news- he was able to think of questions and remember information that I never would have been able to in my shocked state.  He gave me a print out of my pathology report and a friend who's recently battled breast cancer was able to help me read my results.  I have a very general understanding of my condition, but of course won't know treatment, stage or severity until I meet with the breast specialist on Jan 8, which seems like a million lifetimes away.  Unfortunately the specialist won't be back from holiday vacation until early Jan, so seeing her sooner isn't a possibility.  In the meantime, I've been researching as much as I can stomach.  I've called to see if I can get in earlier and was told to call back Wed to see if there are any cancelations for earlier next week.

You're probably asking yourself, what can I do to support Tara & her family? Here's a little blurb I found about supporting a loved one with cancer:  http://www.cancer.org/cancer/news/features/when-your-friend-has-breast-cancer

Right now, this early on, I really just need support & prayers.  I have a feeling that once I have my Jan 8th appointment things will start rolling pretty quickly, but until then, I don't have much information.  I am not physically sick but emotionally I'm a bit of a mess. I'm doing my best to think positively, although I have had some very dark moments. 

You need to know that we are waiting until we have definite answers before telling the children.  The biggest Es are old enough to understand what the big C word can mean and we want to have answers for them before they jump to the worst possible conclusions.  So please don't mention this to or around the kids until we've confirmed that we've spoken to them, and even then, unless they've reached out to you.

What else can you do?  Here are a few suggestions:

Will you be able to watch the twins for appointments on occasion?  Please offer!  My mom should be able to come up for pre-planned appointments but I'd like to have a few backup people in place in case she's not always able to get here or has a conflict. 

I'd love to hear stories about people you know who've beaten this disease!  But please don't offer medical advice that you read online or heard about somewhere.  I will have a whole team of medical doctors with years of experience to discuss and make decisions with, and although I intend to use supplements and natural remedies, they will not be the only way that I will fight this. 


I will do my best to update the blog as we get information.  I may not always be strong enough to talk about this so don't be offended if I don't respond to texts/e-mails/inquiries.  I appreciate your reaching out and will be listening to messages and reading texts as I feel that I can.

We are so early into this and I have no idea what my treatment will be. But I wanted to let my friends and family know of my diagnosis so that we can get as many positive thoughts and prayers as possible!  I love you all and I know you will be with me through this journey!