Looks like we made it

I remember the first time we were in the waiting room at the breast center to see the breast surgeon, after I knew I had cancer, but before we understood any of the details.  I saw a chair with many signatures of survivors on it and wondered if I'd ever get to sign it.  I hadn't really thought about it much since then, but I was so pleased when I got this in the mail the other day:

This invitation really makes me feel like I made it through this whole ordeal.  It's funny that this is the thing that makes me feel 'cured' but, for some reason, validation from the breast center is what I needed.  I still can't believe that we're finally through the worst of this!   

It's been 4 months since my last chemo- which means I'm officially off chemo as long as I was on it. Wow.   Just wow.  What a difference 4 months makes!  Check out the hair growth from chemo til now:

I guess this means that my blog is winding down.  I struggle to come up with topics to blog about...I will continue to blog with any surgery and appointment updates, but they are so few and far between now so it won't be that often.  I'm considering starting a blog for everyday stuff, but I feel like that needs to be an entirely separate blog. I'll be sure to let everyone know if I end up doing that so you can follow along if you'd like!

I cannot express how much everyone's support, prayers and love has helped me through this.  And it turns out that blogging really helped me through this journey too, more than I ever expected.  I have yet to go back and read any of this blog, but I'm glad that I have the option to do so, when I'm ready.  One of the reasons I wanted to start it was so that I could always remember how I felt during all of the treatments.  That and keep others informed as well as maybe someday helping someone else through this.  If I can help just one person, it was all worth it.

I'll be getting an early Christmas present

I saw my plastic surgeon yesterday and we scheduled my next surgery!  My skin expanders have done their job and I'm ready to have them taken out and have the final implants put in.  I'll be so happy to get these awkward hard expanders out!  My surgery date is Dec 2nd, hence the early Christmas present.  I really hope the implants will make me feel more like the old me.

Speaking of the old me, I started an 8 week bootcamp challenge on Monday.  So far I'm loving it, although I'm pretty sure there isn't a muscle in my body that isn't screaming at me! But it feels good to be working out again, and I feel like the "old" me.  The old out-of-shape me, but still the old me that could do more than just walk from my bed to the couch. I'm officially down 14 pounds from my highest chemo weight and only about 10lbs to go until I'm back down to my original "fat weight." It  boggles me how out of shape and weak I am, but we all have to start somewhere, right?

I see my oncologist tomorrow for a follow up to discuss the tamoxifen.  So far, so good- no real side effects, which is great.  And I was kind of known at the oncologist's office for my wacky shirts, so this came just in time (today)!

After I put it on I wondered if it is something I should have worn during chemo, when I actually had cancer, but I decided that it can mean that I beat cancer too.  I really want a shirt that says, "I made cancer my b!tch" but most of my kids can read, so...that's a no go.  It is true though!

I plan to go back and say hello to my chemo nurse Nikki.  I haven't seen her since my last chemo at the end of May.  It'll be great to say hello and not worry about her sticking me with a needle LOL

2 months, 2 and a half miles

Yesterday was 2 months exactly since my surgery.  How did I celebrate?  By heading to the gym with Emeline and doing 2.5 miles on the treadmill!  She's my new workout buddy and I'm loving our time together- a big thank you to my awesome husband for allowing us to do so much together, which has built such a great relationship between my oldest daughter & I.

I'm not quite up to running the entire 2.5 miles, but I ran more yesterday than when we went to the gym on Tuesday and did 2 miles, so that's progress.  I'm feeling stronger every day!

This morning I stepped on the scale and saw the lowest number I've seen since going up on the scale during chemo.  I'm over halfway to my first mini-goal weight.  Ironically, my first mini-goal used to be my "fat" weight.  But perspective has taught me that I needed to gain weight to become healthier.  Boy does that sound counterintuitive, but it was the only way to ensure that the big C didn't possibly take away my future (and all that great time I'm having with Emeline at the gym!).  I plan to spend a lot more time in the gym in the coming months.

Life is good, my friends.  I'm so thankful that I'm physically able to get back to the gym and extra thankful that the scale is showing my work.   I really need to treat this body right, after I put it through so much hell!

Welp, it's official

My hair is long enough that people think it's a style choice.  I've had 3 strangers compliment me this week on my haircut.
them: "I love your haircut!"
me: "Um, thanks...but it's not a haircut, it's just my hair growing back in from chemo."
<insert awkward silence>
them: "Oh."
me: "Don't worry, I had surgery and now I'm cancer-free!"
them: "Uh, congrats..."  slinking away from that super awkward conversation, wishing they'd never said anything.

I'm thinking I need to just learn to say, "thank you!" and move on, eh?

In the whole scheme of things, I think this is good news- now I know I can totally pull off hair this short. The funny thing is, before the big C, I was really uncomfortable without bangs, I felt almost naked without them. And all the sudden there I was- running around town with a naked head like nothing.  Perspective is such a funny thing!

Take a good look, my peeps. This will be the one and only time it'll ever be this short.  So enjoy it while you can & feel free to touch it when you see me, it's super soft!

Who knew?  David Beckham is my hair's spirit animal!